Feb. 13th, 2015

lollypox: (Satyr)
So he came back to me a day later and decided that yes, he wanted to take advantage of my offer to give her a lovely Valentine's day evening.

His plan was to take her out for steaks, then to a romantic movie. He was really excited about it, too.
This meant I was doing the Mary Poppins thing at their house, which is perfectly OK with me.

So I settled everything in my mind, and started to make plans.


There will be a separate post about the rest of the weekend soon; it was epic in all directions (including down).


So this week I get a message from him that they decided to rearrange the weekend. They want to go to a party on Friday, together, so they wanted me to sit for the kids then, instead of on Valentine's day.

Cue the facepalm.

I'd like to point out that part of the reason for my offer was to get some time with the kids, just me and them. I had actual plans of things I wanted to do (craft projects and maybe even going out to dinner or to a movie) and this threw a wrench in all of that planning.
So I thought about it and responded that while I have no problem providing them with child care on Friday night (which means food, bedtime, and I watch a movie while the kids are asleep), I still wanted MY day with the kids on Saturday.

Now, they also said that they wanted to have a nice romantic dinner with me on Valentine's day, which I'm ambivalent about.

So while they were surprised that I still wanted to take the kids (why the surprise, really? I love those kids. I like taking them out to do fun things, or doing craft projects with them) they were still on board with it.
Of course, of all the kids' movies out right now, they've seen them all. I'll see which one their favorite is and we can go see that. Hell, even if they want to see spongebob squarepants I'll probably drop the cash for it. I'm not a fan but this is about the kiddos.

So here's hoping the weekend goes well. I had rather hoped to give them a romantic evening without kids underfoot and get in some kid time myself, but it looks like it's really just going to be the same kind of family weekend we always have.
Not that it's a bad thing, really, just not what I tried to arrange. Oh well.
lollypox: (the wolf who wins)
Friday and Saturday of last weekend were just completely awesome.

There was an erotic art exhibit/event/circus going on, and She had a booth and some art in the display. I was her Plus One for Friday, and He was her Plus One for Saturday.
Friday, I had a friend coordinate with me to do some performance art/costuming stuff, and we were adorable. The event was nifty, and I got to look at all the art with two friends who are professional artists. I ran into many friends and family members at the event, which is always neat. (Some of them were surprised to see me; I guess I'm not getting out as often as I used to.)

And of course I was in her orbit; circling back to the booth as often as I could, going outside with her to get some air from time to time, directing people to her booth (as I was wearing her wares.) My other friend had to go home early, so I stayed until closing and rode home with Her.
Now, mind you, He had suggested to me that I get her revved up so we could have some play time when we got home, but to be honest standing around on concrete floors all night had left us both kind of tired, and she was exhausted from working the booth all night.

So instead, we all went to sleep and in the morning there was time for us to be together. I had planned to be on kid duty for Saturday night, but apparently the kiddos were having a night at their grandmother's house instead. So I got to go the second night, too, as His date. (Had to pay my way in, but it was worth it.)
I must say that looking at an art exhibit with my artist friends is one kind of experience. Looking at erotic art with my boyfriend is a significantly different experience. Heh.

We had a lovely time and I even found the secret room of chairs so I was able to sit for a bit here and there. He spent the whole evening standing in my space, holding my hand from time to time, sneaking kisses, and whispering naughty things in my ear. He apparently had PLANS for when we all got home.

Afterward, She wanted to get food, so we did. As we'd eaten at like 5pm, we were all hungry. We got back to the house between 2:30 and 3am. I had to work the next day, and reminded them of that. She was once again wiped out so they went to bed and I went to bed. He called out, "First one up wakes the others!"

I set my alarm for 10, mostly as a reminder to get in the shower, not as a wake-up call. He is something of a rooster; up at dawn no matter what, so I assumed that he'd be waking me up earlier than that.

So when my alarm woke me I was surprised. I went in to their room and sure enough he was awake. I snuggled with them for a few minutes and then let them know that I had to get ready for work. I have to leave their house by 11 on Sundays. This has been true for a year. The only time it changes is when I have to go in earlier.
And yet, they wanted to drag me back to bed for fun times. I didn't have the time.

I finally hopped in the shower and got my work duds on, came in to get my suitcase and I'm still getting dragged back into the bed. I explained that I had all my costume stuff to pack up and load into the car yet, and it was ten minutes to 11.

So I flew out of there like a bat out of hell, and just barely managed to get to work on time. There wasn't time for long goodbyes or anything; I didn't actually leave until 11:10.

And yeah, I was annoyed. My mood flipped over fast and hard and there was no salvaging it. I just needed to take care of my business.
When I walked in the door at work, I texted them to say I'd gotten there on time. I got a flurry of texts back, all variations of "Are you angry? What's wrong?"

I did my shift at work.
I went home.
I told my housemates to leave me be, that I wasn't having a good day. I got on IM with a friend who is extremely understanding and she offered to help me unpack my feelings, which I did.

I got the thing untangled, and there was plenty of stuff in there that had nothing to do with my Lovelies or anything that happened that weekend. My stress levels were very high, even with the fun we were having, and the small inconsiderate actions on Sunday really hit me harder than they normally would.

But I had to spend the week consoling Them about my meltdown. I'm still not sure how I feel about that.

I'm usually low-maintenance, but from time to time I need a bit more. I get it that my partners (most of my partners, throughout my life) are blindsided by my suddenly needing a lot more than I normally do. I'm fairly self-sufficient and I communicate openly about my thoughts and feelings. Unfortunately, if I go into a dark place, my communication skills dry up on me.

And I admit, the Black Wolf spoke this time. The Black Wolf wanted to just put the two of them on radio silence for a week and then ask them how they like it? The Black Wolf has a hard time letting go of the fact that they pushed me away the first time and she's constantly looking for clues that it will happen again.

Fortunately, this is not the wolf I feed. Fortunately, I don't give in to my passive-aggressive side, I work hard to avoid falling back on the bad patterns I was raised with. Fortunately, I was able to untangle the knot and I can talk about what happened and why.

And fortunately, my lovers care about me, and care about my needs. Fortunately, they draw forth my best qualities, most of the time. Fortunately, I can give them a wonderful gift this weekend, and give one to myself at the same time.

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