Mar. 11th, 2015

lollypox: (Priceless Poly)
The March schedule is packed tightly, and I have FINALLY gotten my lovelies to actually look at the damn thing and make some choices about when we can connect. Just barely. We're still figuring most of it out.

I'm a fairly low-maintenence playmate. I don't really require much, just honesty and communication. Well, and sexy play times. However, I file scheduling issues under communication.

March is brutal for them as well, which is part of the problem in both directions. I'd take initiative and just make plans, but I'm missing some of the data. Knowing this, I posted all of my scheduled weirdness into my Google calendar and gave them access. (Actually, I gave them access months ago, when I realized that it would be easier for them to take my data and make calculations than for me to try to get all of their data sorted.) I also compiled an email outlining my schedule by linear date, and made suggestions as to what I could do and when.

It's not like I need them to make all the planning or decisions, but I need them to answer my questions and give me the information I need.

For example, in my world: The month opened with a big event.
A close family member has a birthday this month. This usually eats up two different days for a variety of reasons.
A very close friend is having surgery this month, and I'd like to be there for some of the recovery period.
My workplace has some special needs in the form of events.
I'm running a fundraiser at the end of the month.
I have a client in my sideline job with a hard deadline fast approaching. (Beware the Ides of March.)
I have a big anniversary on the first of April.
And as usual, I work 5 days of the week and they're rarely the same five days from week to week.

In their world: The month opened with an event.
Spring break for the spawn is different than spring break for one of the parents. This sucks for a variety of reasons. Said parent will also be taking students out of town for most of a week in between the two spring breaks.
And as much as I'd like to just blow the rest of my vacation and take the last three weeks of March off, there's no way.

So I've been nudging, and asking, and talking, and suggesting, and emailing, and texting, and banging on them to let me know how they want to handle all of the above together.

I've had to remind them that the offers of my time have expiration dates because I have other friends, loved ones, family members, and people paying me for my time who want a slice of me.

---and a small piece of my brain is whispering nefarious things in the back corner of my mind. What with a Very Important Talk in the queue, part of me wonders if this is simply the crazy busy nature of the season or if I'm being pushed to the outside.

To be fair, I have strong self-esteem. I know my worth and my value. I rarely manifest insecurities in the face of relationship problems. There is only one person like me in the universe, and I'm pretty amazing. So it's less a matter of "am I good enough?" and more a matter of, "Oh, crap. Are they not able to handle this?"
So far, they HAVE been able to handle it, and it's been a year, so I'm not actively worried.

Just kind of passively worried.
This is not helping me deal with March.

I'm very annoyed with March. It can march right the fuck on, thanks.


lollypox: (Default)

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