lollypox: (Satyr)
[personal profile] lollypox
Tuesday we all had a lovely date.
In addition to spending time with the two of them, I also got to carve out some time with him separately and with her, separately.

It does us all good to do that.

When he and I were spending time together, we had some pillow-talk that upgraded into discussing my husband's return. He brought it up, so we talked about it. He had been thinking about it, though not worrying incessantly or fretting. He let me know that he wanted to honor and respect my marriage and my husband's needs, so he understood that once my husband was home, things would change.

And while I just adore him for being so great about this, I also wanted him to know that I don't intend to give up what I have with Them, even when my husband returns. They are part of who I am now, and my love for them does not remove or replace my love for my husband.

Yes, my husband is going to want the larger piece of me when he returns. I'm fully prepared to give it to him. Eager to do so.
Really eager.
But I also know that my husband is going to need quiet time, alone time, and time away from the crowds. He needs that *anyway* to survive and he has had absolutely no privacy or alone time in over 4 years.
So there will be times when we negotiate some space between us, and I think that will be healthy for both of us.
It just happens that when I arrange to be away, I have somewhere to go. I have someone to lean on. I have someone who will help me recharge so that when I return I'm ready for the next adventure, or crisis, or whatever.

So I also talked to Her about it, and let her know what He and I had discussed, plus my feelings in the matter. I asked her if she wanted to "keep" me, too.
She smiled and said that she did.

In fact, I watched her face carefully. She is my mysterious moon, and can be a hard read sometimes, but I also have learned her wyrding ways. I suspect that some of the... background static going on lately is related to their anxiety about my husband's return.
Not high anxiety. Nothing dramatic. Just a little nagging voice in the back of their heads telling them that I might be whisked away, and soon.
So yeah, as I talked about it with me I watched her careful expressions.
She should not play poker with me.

So while it all still could go horribly wrong, I have faith and confidence that it will all work out for the best.

And in the mean time I have a lovely boyfriend and girlfriend to keep me warm, happy, laughing, and well-fed.

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