lollypox: (Satyr)
lollypox ([personal profile] lollypox) wrote2015-09-08 08:52 pm

I can't even...

I went to Planned Parenthood today. They have been my care provider for years, since my usual gynecologist retired, actually.

And while I have some hilarious stories, some of which are sweet and nice and some of which are kind of hair-raising, I can usually deal with the bullshit.

Today I failed entirely to bring my shovel.

Since the weekend was a holiday weekend, I was not able to call in advance to make an appointment. I see now that their website has a nifty "set your own appointment" section, which I could have used last week to set something up. However, the last time I went to make an appointment with them, there was the whole "make your appointment one day in advance" bullshit going on, so I was used to that particular circus.

9am, I called.
No, they did not have any appointments today. (My only weekday off this week.)
Yes, they could make me an appointment (?) so that I could pick up my pills.

My pills wrap up tonight, so I wanted to get a new pack. However, my Rx had run out, so this is the part where they hold me hostage over the new pack. Been on birth control pills nearly continuously since I was 18, except for the two years I was on Depo (and I liked that) the year I was off depo (which was fine until my system finally restarted) and the few months after that when I was back on Depo (which showed up with new side effects; no thanks.)

Now, here are the things I needed to do today:
Fill my gas tank; I'm below "E".
Pick up my check from work.
Deposit said check in my bare bank account.
Finish up some sideline work.
Visit with a friend for lunch.
Get pills from PP any way I can.

Since they did not have an appointment for me, I chose to go to PP first. I did not shower, I did not pass go, I did not collect my paycheck.

So I get there and not only does it take over an hour of waiting room time (despite the "appointment" I had), but I'm finally told that I have to pay for a "Hope" visit, where I talk to a nurse about my BC pills, so they can authorize one more pack to get me through until I can get my Well Woman Exam.

Um, but I'm going to pay all that money for my well-woman exam, right? Why do I need to see the nurse *today*?

New policies. Or, I could buy a package of pills at full price. (In retrospect, I ought to have done that.)

My "discount" rate is already $30 per month.

Now, when I express my annoyance, I'm told that they could work me in for my well-woman exam, BUT I have to take the appointment NOW and I have to pay for it NOW. Well, ladies, I'm all manner of FUNKY at the moment, plus without today's check I have nothing to pay it with. I whipped out my wallet. "I have $60 cash. That is the extent of my wealth today until I get my check cashed."

She seriously was like, "Well, what do you want to do?"
"What does $60 cash buy me?"

It bought me a blood pressure check, (which was not mentioned this time; odd) a weigh-in, a round of questions that told me that they hadn't read my chart, and then a meeting with a nice nurse whose questions told me that she HAD read my chart. "How's that BC working for you?"
"Any weird side effects?"
"You know to take them at the same time every day?"
"You know to take them ALL, right?"
"Um, yeah? Is this really a problem?"

Apparently some women were so well-trained by the "reminder Pills" of the old style that they're throwing out a week's worth of actual medication. Facepalm.

So I proved I was a person, intelligent enough to operate the medication, and assured her that I'd come back in for my well-woman exam.

She blithely said, "oh, I just went ahead and renewed your Rx. Just be sure to get that exam sometime this year."


Well, ok.

It was $68.
I'm not sure what part of "I have $60 to my name at this minute" they were confused about.
I used my debit card, praying the whole time. It went through for the $8.

I guess I could have paid $45 for one pack of pills, but this way if things are too chaotic I can still get my meds.
And since I have to be out of my home by the second week of October, Chaos Rules at the moment.