I Must Not Fear

It's all very simple.

I need to stay home. Often. I need to clean the house, and take care of my business. I need to focus on my family and find out where we're going and what we're doing.

Except that it is complicated.

I also need to maintain my friendships, and have time of my own to myself. I need to reconnect with people who were recently pushed to the outside while my professional projects were all demanding my attention. I need to put more energy into my job.

I *want* to go play, then come home.

I *want* to be able to show my affection to whomever I wish, without worrying about who sees what or who will be bothered by my attention going where.

I *want* the magical moment of earlier this year to return, but I suspect it has flown away.

I *want* to be able to discuss these things, with the right people, without causing a huge scene, without harming people with my opinions, without having to walk on eggshells.

I'm very adolescent right now. I can tell.

I reread this post and thing, UGh, that person needs to get her shit together.
And so, I shall.