Thinking about the ladies
Oct. 21st, 2014 12:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lollypoxMy husband appears to be looking forward to coming home.
I've told him about my plans when he returns, which include things like special "Us" time, alone time for him (because he gets precious little of it where he is now), and letting him lay in a pile of carefully selected hot ladies.
In the past, he's listened politely and made non-commital noises when I discuss such plans with him. I figured that he was trying hard not to think too hard about what freedom will taste like.
Suddenly, it's close enough that he's wanting to talk about it more.
So this hilarious thing happened, when our wires got crossed.
I was at that big event, and on the last day I was at dinner with a couple of friends when he called. I chatted with him about how the weekend went, and at the very end of our (timed) conversation, I said, "Everyone misses you, and everyone is asking after you. Some of them are asking about you in inappropriate ways."
He wanted to know who it was and what happened.
As it was kind of a long story, I didn't want to get into it and told him I'd talk to him about it later.
His response was: "Tell to knock it off."
He does not know that my lovely boyfriend is my lovely boyfriend; he simply named him (first and last name.)
And I was shocked, but responded, "No, nothing like that. I'll tell you later."
I had been really confused for a variety of reasons.
First of all it was weird that he named that particular person. I suspected that HE suspected that there was something going on. I'm not allowed to discuss my affairs with him, but he's called several times when I was at their house. He knows that they're part of my life one way or the other. I wondered if that crack indicated that he wasn't "Fooled" though it is not my intention to "fool" him, only to follow his instruction to not discuss it.
Secondly, I struggled to figure out how my lovely boyfriend could or would ask after my husband in a way that was inappropriate. Or more precisely, I had no idea what my husband was thinking. How would my boyfriend ask after him in an inappropriate way?
Thirdly, I was reeling from the truth of the matter; that it was my husband's best friend who was asking after him in an inappropriate way. His best friend came up to me while I was in the company of a child and asked a lot of questions about my husband's incarceration and subsequent release. I tried to be dismissive, but I knew that if I simply told him to bugger off, it would alert the child in question to the importance of the conversation so I had to grit my teeth and give innocuous answers until he went away. I was really pissed off, and a small part of the reason is that my husband's best friend is also my ex. He knows me well, and I know that he understood that he was doing something that pissed me off. In fact, later on he did seek me out and apologize. What a dumbass.
So I was really confused and missed the clue.
See, my husband heard what I said and translated it to mean that there were people asking after him in *sexy* ways.
And therefore I get to turn my brain around AGAIN.
After I talked to my husband and explained what his friend had done, he laughed (and groaned) and agreed that such shenanigans are very in character for that particular friend.
It wasn't until after both talking to my husband and reading his letter on the subject that I realized that he was thinking in sexy/inappropriate terms.
And here's the part that makes my hair stand on end:
He thought I was talking about people asking after him in sexy ways. Instead of asking if it was this lady or that lady, he immediately went to *my lovely boyfriend.*
My lovely BI boyfriend.
My lovelies actually have a hard and fast rule about how they play; everyone plays or no one plays. He's probably "more bi" than she is, but they're both picky. When I got involved with them the first time I asked if I could bring my MP along (wasn't my husband then) and was told that unless he was willing to play with both of them he couldn't come and play. My husband knows this; and has been very clear about his heterosexuality.
So it's clear that what he was communicating was, "I know that you're with them, and I'm still not going to sleep with your boyfriend."
Unless of course what was happening there was my husband was considering sexy options in my circle of friends and the *first name he uttered to me* was the name of my boyfriend.
Well, a lady can hope, right?
LOL
In the mean time, I told my husband that we ought to exchange lists of ladies. On his part, so that I know who he might be interested in, and on my part a list of people I've vetted.
The middle of the venn diagram are the ones who will be invited to the pile. Hee hee.
And the thing is, there are people that I've already given a "pass" to. The exact phrase I've been using is, "If you *can* knock a piece off of that, you are welcome to do so."
Frankly, I have always been pretty good at sharing. I mean, I'd rather that my partner(s) exercise good taste when choosing additional partners, and I prefer low-drama situations but I'm pretty enthusiastic about my lovers' other loves.
I've told him about my plans when he returns, which include things like special "Us" time, alone time for him (because he gets precious little of it where he is now), and letting him lay in a pile of carefully selected hot ladies.
In the past, he's listened politely and made non-commital noises when I discuss such plans with him. I figured that he was trying hard not to think too hard about what freedom will taste like.
Suddenly, it's close enough that he's wanting to talk about it more.
So this hilarious thing happened, when our wires got crossed.
I was at that big event, and on the last day I was at dinner with a couple of friends when he called. I chatted with him about how the weekend went, and at the very end of our (timed) conversation, I said, "Everyone misses you, and everyone is asking after you. Some of them are asking about you in inappropriate ways."
He wanted to know who it was and what happened.
As it was kind of a long story, I didn't want to get into it and told him I'd talk to him about it later.
His response was: "Tell
He does not know that my lovely boyfriend is my lovely boyfriend; he simply named him (first and last name.)
And I was shocked, but responded, "No, nothing like that. I'll tell you later."
I had been really confused for a variety of reasons.
First of all it was weird that he named that particular person. I suspected that HE suspected that there was something going on. I'm not allowed to discuss my affairs with him, but he's called several times when I was at their house. He knows that they're part of my life one way or the other. I wondered if that crack indicated that he wasn't "Fooled" though it is not my intention to "fool" him, only to follow his instruction to not discuss it.
Secondly, I struggled to figure out how my lovely boyfriend could or would ask after my husband in a way that was inappropriate. Or more precisely, I had no idea what my husband was thinking. How would my boyfriend ask after him in an inappropriate way?
Thirdly, I was reeling from the truth of the matter; that it was my husband's best friend who was asking after him in an inappropriate way. His best friend came up to me while I was in the company of a child and asked a lot of questions about my husband's incarceration and subsequent release. I tried to be dismissive, but I knew that if I simply told him to bugger off, it would alert the child in question to the importance of the conversation so I had to grit my teeth and give innocuous answers until he went away. I was really pissed off, and a small part of the reason is that my husband's best friend is also my ex. He knows me well, and I know that he understood that he was doing something that pissed me off. In fact, later on he did seek me out and apologize. What a dumbass.
So I was really confused and missed the clue.
See, my husband heard what I said and translated it to mean that there were people asking after him in *sexy* ways.
And therefore I get to turn my brain around AGAIN.
After I talked to my husband and explained what his friend had done, he laughed (and groaned) and agreed that such shenanigans are very in character for that particular friend.
It wasn't until after both talking to my husband and reading his letter on the subject that I realized that he was thinking in sexy/inappropriate terms.
And here's the part that makes my hair stand on end:
He thought I was talking about people asking after him in sexy ways. Instead of asking if it was this lady or that lady, he immediately went to *my lovely boyfriend.*
My lovely BI boyfriend.
My lovelies actually have a hard and fast rule about how they play; everyone plays or no one plays. He's probably "more bi" than she is, but they're both picky. When I got involved with them the first time I asked if I could bring my MP along (wasn't my husband then) and was told that unless he was willing to play with both of them he couldn't come and play. My husband knows this; and has been very clear about his heterosexuality.
So it's clear that what he was communicating was, "I know that you're with them, and I'm still not going to sleep with your boyfriend."
Unless of course what was happening there was my husband was considering sexy options in my circle of friends and the *first name he uttered to me* was the name of my boyfriend.
Well, a lady can hope, right?
LOL
In the mean time, I told my husband that we ought to exchange lists of ladies. On his part, so that I know who he might be interested in, and on my part a list of people I've vetted.
The middle of the venn diagram are the ones who will be invited to the pile. Hee hee.
And the thing is, there are people that I've already given a "pass" to. The exact phrase I've been using is, "If you *can* knock a piece off of that, you are welcome to do so."
Frankly, I have always been pretty good at sharing. I mean, I'd rather that my partner(s) exercise good taste when choosing additional partners, and I prefer low-drama situations but I'm pretty enthusiastic about my lovers' other loves.
