Don't be my father.
Feb. 3rd, 2015 06:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lollypoxI wrote some background information in the previous post. Go read it.
It's cool. I can wait.
Done? Good.
So the big VD is approaching. I have two lovely lovers and I thought long and hard about what I wanted to give them for the holiday. It will be the first Valentine's Day with them, and in many ways, the last one in our current configuration. Once my Husband returns from his tribulations, I will be making him a priority on VD.
And it dawned on me: I should give them an evening to remember, with each other.
I have this power.
I asked him if he had plans for Valentine's Day. He said, "We love each other every day."
Uh-oh. That sounds familiar. God DAMN it. Do not be my father. Dude. Seriously. She has already talked to me about the fact that He often blows off occasions, including not getting Her anything for Her birthday.
But I have a plan.
They have children, you see. Children I love as much as I do my own. Children I care for on a regular basis. However, it's kind of hard to have a romantic dinner and a sexy evening with your spouse when there are kids underfoot all the time.
So I emailed Him, and proposed this:
On February 14th, I will do one of two things. I will either remove the kids from the house and take them on a fun outing including dinner, or I will stay at the house and babysit the kids while their parents go out to do something romantic for Valentine's Day.
If I take the kids out, I will foot the bill for any fun that we have.
If I stay in with the kids, I will provide them with some of the money to pay for their evening. (Probably about $50. It's what I can manage.)
I pointed out that She has a bunch of events this month, and so if He were the one to organize and plan a special Valentine's Day date night, She would likely be very grateful and appreciative.
I also made some suggestions, as there are lots of nifty things to do for VD in this town.
Heck, if they wanted to go stay in a motel, I could even spend the night. I have to be at work the next day at noon, but most check-out times are 11am anyway.
His response: He has to think about it. (headdesk)
For all that he loves the romantic trappings, he seems to have a blind spot here. He has what basically amounts to a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for an enchanting evening orchestrated by his poly partner who wants to see them have a nice time. Heck, he doesn't even have to plan anything; he can hand it off to me and I'll set the whole thing up.
It makes me uncomfortable when my male partners show characteristics similar to my father.
And if he turns me down for this, I am TOTALLY going to her with it. She will jump at the chance. I was just hoping to nudge him into being the big romantic awesome guy this one time. (Ok, he's usually pretty good at the romantic stuff, to be fair.)
Maybe I should just literally buy tickets for something and present it to them.
It's cool. I can wait.
Done? Good.
So the big VD is approaching. I have two lovely lovers and I thought long and hard about what I wanted to give them for the holiday. It will be the first Valentine's Day with them, and in many ways, the last one in our current configuration. Once my Husband returns from his tribulations, I will be making him a priority on VD.
And it dawned on me: I should give them an evening to remember, with each other.
I have this power.
I asked him if he had plans for Valentine's Day. He said, "We love each other every day."
Uh-oh. That sounds familiar. God DAMN it. Do not be my father. Dude. Seriously. She has already talked to me about the fact that He often blows off occasions, including not getting Her anything for Her birthday.
But I have a plan.
They have children, you see. Children I love as much as I do my own. Children I care for on a regular basis. However, it's kind of hard to have a romantic dinner and a sexy evening with your spouse when there are kids underfoot all the time.
So I emailed Him, and proposed this:
On February 14th, I will do one of two things. I will either remove the kids from the house and take them on a fun outing including dinner, or I will stay at the house and babysit the kids while their parents go out to do something romantic for Valentine's Day.
If I take the kids out, I will foot the bill for any fun that we have.
If I stay in with the kids, I will provide them with some of the money to pay for their evening. (Probably about $50. It's what I can manage.)
I pointed out that She has a bunch of events this month, and so if He were the one to organize and plan a special Valentine's Day date night, She would likely be very grateful and appreciative.
I also made some suggestions, as there are lots of nifty things to do for VD in this town.
Heck, if they wanted to go stay in a motel, I could even spend the night. I have to be at work the next day at noon, but most check-out times are 11am anyway.
His response: He has to think about it. (headdesk)
For all that he loves the romantic trappings, he seems to have a blind spot here. He has what basically amounts to a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for an enchanting evening orchestrated by his poly partner who wants to see them have a nice time. Heck, he doesn't even have to plan anything; he can hand it off to me and I'll set the whole thing up.
It makes me uncomfortable when my male partners show characteristics similar to my father.
And if he turns me down for this, I am TOTALLY going to her with it. She will jump at the chance. I was just hoping to nudge him into being the big romantic awesome guy this one time. (Ok, he's usually pretty good at the romantic stuff, to be fair.)
Maybe I should just literally buy tickets for something and present it to them.
