So many things
Apr. 9th, 2015 12:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lollypoxUps and downs have happened since my last post, including some inadvertent cock blocking and some intense reconnections.
And large steps taken, too.
For the holiday I was invited to Her family celebration on Friday. About half of the adults at that party knew what was what, so it was a little odd.
My family has been inviting them along for things for a while now, but their schedule is significantly harder to juggle with three sets of grandparents.
And He actually sat his dad down and told him about the situation. He presented it beautifully, opening with how amazing his marriage is, and how the two of them are closer than they've ever been.
And then mentioned that they both have a girlfriend.
His dad is a very religious man.
His dad actually founded a local charity that is kind of a big deal.
His dad was totally cool with everything, and in fact said that "God is love."
I said, "Your dad and I have the same faith system, then."
His dad also suggested that perhaps this was not information that his stepmom needed, as it would likely confuse her thoroughly, and cause her to have a constant stream of inappropriate questions.
And so it goes.
She told her mother but not Her father, for similar reasons. (Though I think in that instance, they're not giving her dad enough credit. On the other hand, I don't know him as well as they do.) She's told her sister, who is a burlesque dancer and a very free spirit. They've not told the other sister, though she's starting to get the picture, I think.
As for me, my mom knows about me. She knows my "lifestyle." I told her about the first girl I really fell in love with, and other than the age difference she was fine with it. She has known that most of my relationships have been one form of poly or another and has listened to me whine about my random drama for years.
I don't discuss my sex life with my father.
At all.
However, I have made it clear to him that my Lovelies are important to me. That they're friends I care about a great deal.
My father also believes that God is Love, and he believes in loving one's friends and family. Family gatherings on his side have an invite list that always says, "And friends" and he never makes anyone define those friendships.
Hell, for all I know, he and my stepmother have been having an open relationship all this time with a couple of special friends. There are a few that the two of them seem really intensely close with. Who knows?
I did tell my stepmom about my situation several years ago, with my male primary and my female secondary. Or female primary. She was really primary to me, and secondary to him.
Anyway, I explained everything to her, and she listened gravely with very large eyes. She asked me about the drama, which there wasn't. She accepted it instantly, even though it was clear that she hadn't completely wrapped her head around it, but after that she treated my female primary like family.
So it's not like I'm hiding anything from my father. I just don't discuss the sexual stuff with him, and without that part of the conversation, telling him that my lovelies are special, or important, is all I need to do.
My Lovelies are coming out to their families, a little at a time. They're getting a really excellent reception to the whole thing and their families are starting to draw me in.
I like this a lot.
I admit, I'm still nervous about what my husband is going to say or do when he returns home. On the other hand, I still can't imagine him wanting to take something from me that feeds me so much. What I have with them won't take away from what I have with him. He's still my highest priority, just as their children are their highest priority.
And he gets to come home to a poly family who cares about him and is there for both of us.
And large steps taken, too.
For the holiday I was invited to Her family celebration on Friday. About half of the adults at that party knew what was what, so it was a little odd.
My family has been inviting them along for things for a while now, but their schedule is significantly harder to juggle with three sets of grandparents.
And He actually sat his dad down and told him about the situation. He presented it beautifully, opening with how amazing his marriage is, and how the two of them are closer than they've ever been.
And then mentioned that they both have a girlfriend.
His dad is a very religious man.
His dad actually founded a local charity that is kind of a big deal.
His dad was totally cool with everything, and in fact said that "God is love."
I said, "Your dad and I have the same faith system, then."
His dad also suggested that perhaps this was not information that his stepmom needed, as it would likely confuse her thoroughly, and cause her to have a constant stream of inappropriate questions.
And so it goes.
She told her mother but not Her father, for similar reasons. (Though I think in that instance, they're not giving her dad enough credit. On the other hand, I don't know him as well as they do.) She's told her sister, who is a burlesque dancer and a very free spirit. They've not told the other sister, though she's starting to get the picture, I think.
As for me, my mom knows about me. She knows my "lifestyle." I told her about the first girl I really fell in love with, and other than the age difference she was fine with it. She has known that most of my relationships have been one form of poly or another and has listened to me whine about my random drama for years.
I don't discuss my sex life with my father.
At all.
However, I have made it clear to him that my Lovelies are important to me. That they're friends I care about a great deal.
My father also believes that God is Love, and he believes in loving one's friends and family. Family gatherings on his side have an invite list that always says, "And friends" and he never makes anyone define those friendships.
Hell, for all I know, he and my stepmother have been having an open relationship all this time with a couple of special friends. There are a few that the two of them seem really intensely close with. Who knows?
I did tell my stepmom about my situation several years ago, with my male primary and my female secondary. Or female primary. She was really primary to me, and secondary to him.
Anyway, I explained everything to her, and she listened gravely with very large eyes. She asked me about the drama, which there wasn't. She accepted it instantly, even though it was clear that she hadn't completely wrapped her head around it, but after that she treated my female primary like family.
So it's not like I'm hiding anything from my father. I just don't discuss the sexual stuff with him, and without that part of the conversation, telling him that my lovelies are special, or important, is all I need to do.
My Lovelies are coming out to their families, a little at a time. They're getting a really excellent reception to the whole thing and their families are starting to draw me in.
I like this a lot.
I admit, I'm still nervous about what my husband is going to say or do when he returns home. On the other hand, I still can't imagine him wanting to take something from me that feeds me so much. What I have with them won't take away from what I have with him. He's still my highest priority, just as their children are their highest priority.
And he gets to come home to a poly family who cares about him and is there for both of us.
